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karasumaakaneI haven't actually updated in a while, so I guess I should do that. Classes, work, and training are kicking my ass. Not to mention the last bit of moving I need to do this week. Within the next couple of fews I won't be able to live at my house anymore. My parents are moving into an apartment in Liberty and I'll pretty much be living in the dorms. Dorm life is okay. It really helps that I have a roommate that is a friend. If I had roomed with a stranger, it probably would have been war. One that I wouldn't intend to lose. Grrr.
I've caught up with my f-list, but I still need to give my hard drive some attention. I'm still doing the balancing act with the avalible space. Ooops. I have no excuses; I'm just horrible.
I think I figured out why working for the yearbook is driving me insane. For the longest time, I have had this unshaking resolve of "don't bother me and I won't bother you". However, with the yearbook situation, I HAVE TO butt into people's lives. On a daily basis and I am growing a hatred toward the school because of it. I had to interview two teachers today (which I forgot to take pictures, so I have to go back and bother them again), meet in the yearbook class, and take pictures of people at the library. After all of that, I went to the cafeteria and ate dinner alone. It doesn't bother me that I was alone, but with no one there to focus on I could feel my hatred grow and multiply. I don't like getting involved in school clubs or activities because I see school as a place to learn - not a place to screw around. And screwing around seems to be the specialty of half the campus population!
I kept comparing the cafeteria to high school even though I hardly ever ate in the high school cafeteria. I could probably count all the occasions with less than ten fingers. Ami's school cafeteria wasn't like that; it reminded me of a restaurant. The other students had conversations WITHOUT screaming and everyone enjoyed themselves. I live on a campus with a bunch of high schoolers. Or people that still act like high schoolers anyways. I do know one thing for sure; if I am going to eat in the cafeteria (or the food court - which I also ate there alone at lunch) without someone else there, I need to bring my mp3 player. I can't let my hatred for this situation fester.
I guess that is why I want to be a copy editor: I don't have to butt into people's lives, they come to me for help, and after I help them they can go else where. That is my dream job - not dealing with the public. I can't deal with large groups all at once. When I do I feel like I need to jump out of a fucking window afterwards.
We went up to see Ami this past weekend. It was really nice seeing her. We got into a small disagreement, but I was half way expecting it. I knew Ami feels bad about being in another state and feeling like she made a mistake with her college choice, but it was just a matter of time before the feelings would overwhelm her. Personally, I think she's the bravest out of all of us for even GOING to UoI in the first place. I'm going to this school because I was afraid I would be out of reach from what I know. That's one of the main reasons anyways. Other reasons are family, my training, my selfishness and cowardice. Only now am I discovering how truly selfish I am.
[EDIT:] As I was discussing my day with Cassie, I actually had to stop myself from crying about the yearbook thing. I thought I was being a big baby about this, but now I think I need to talk to Dr. Thorne about how this is affecting me. There's a fine line between being a whiner and knowing your limits... I think I crossed that line with the yearbook. I don't want to disappoint the yearbook staff, but I'll just drag down their project if I try to tough it out. They are all working really hard on it too. I don't want to ruin their teamwork.
Luna, Hotaru, and myself drove to Ami's campus in Iowa over the weekend. We had a pretty good time. One small disagreement, but it's nothing that we couldn't handle. ^.^ *huggles for everyone* I was actually impressed with Ami's campus. The only huge draw back that I noted was the space between each building because it is a city. I will no longer complain about walking to my classes at my campus. Ami has a bigger trek and definately has more right to complain than me. She showed an ass-load of new PVs and I'm now hooked on Crystal Kay and Miyavi's new songs! You heard that right - something not JE! *Akira!shock* The world may be ending. :P
Sidenote about Tackey & Tsubasa: All Tsubasa fans need to send a get well card to Tsubasa because he broke his left foot! *cries* You can find the details and address to send the cards here. We love you, Imai-san!! ♥♥♥
I should probably sleep, but I have a huge urge to read fanfiction... >.< Must resist!
I've caught up with my f-list, but I still need to give my hard drive some attention. I'm still doing the balancing act with the avalible space. Ooops. I have no excuses; I'm just horrible.
I think I figured out why working for the yearbook is driving me insane. For the longest time, I have had this unshaking resolve of "don't bother me and I won't bother you". However, with the yearbook situation, I HAVE TO butt into people's lives. On a daily basis and I am growing a hatred toward the school because of it. I had to interview two teachers today (which I forgot to take pictures, so I have to go back and bother them again), meet in the yearbook class, and take pictures of people at the library. After all of that, I went to the cafeteria and ate dinner alone. It doesn't bother me that I was alone, but with no one there to focus on I could feel my hatred grow and multiply. I don't like getting involved in school clubs or activities because I see school as a place to learn - not a place to screw around. And screwing around seems to be the specialty of half the campus population!
I kept comparing the cafeteria to high school even though I hardly ever ate in the high school cafeteria. I could probably count all the occasions with less than ten fingers. Ami's school cafeteria wasn't like that; it reminded me of a restaurant. The other students had conversations WITHOUT screaming and everyone enjoyed themselves. I live on a campus with a bunch of high schoolers. Or people that still act like high schoolers anyways. I do know one thing for sure; if I am going to eat in the cafeteria (or the food court - which I also ate there alone at lunch) without someone else there, I need to bring my mp3 player. I can't let my hatred for this situation fester.
I guess that is why I want to be a copy editor: I don't have to butt into people's lives, they come to me for help, and after I help them they can go else where. That is my dream job - not dealing with the public. I can't deal with large groups all at once. When I do I feel like I need to jump out of a fucking window afterwards.
We went up to see Ami this past weekend. It was really nice seeing her. We got into a small disagreement, but I was half way expecting it. I knew Ami feels bad about being in another state and feeling like she made a mistake with her college choice, but it was just a matter of time before the feelings would overwhelm her. Personally, I think she's the bravest out of all of us for even GOING to UoI in the first place. I'm going to this school because I was afraid I would be out of reach from what I know. That's one of the main reasons anyways. Other reasons are family, my training, my selfishness and cowardice. Only now am I discovering how truly selfish I am.
[EDIT:] As I was discussing my day with Cassie, I actually had to stop myself from crying about the yearbook thing. I thought I was being a big baby about this, but now I think I need to talk to Dr. Thorne about how this is affecting me. There's a fine line between being a whiner and knowing your limits... I think I crossed that line with the yearbook. I don't want to disappoint the yearbook staff, but I'll just drag down their project if I try to tough it out. They are all working really hard on it too. I don't want to ruin their teamwork.
Luna, Hotaru, and myself drove to Ami's campus in Iowa over the weekend. We had a pretty good time. One small disagreement, but it's nothing that we couldn't handle. ^.^ *huggles for everyone* I was actually impressed with Ami's campus. The only huge draw back that I noted was the space between each building because it is a city. I will no longer complain about walking to my classes at my campus. Ami has a bigger trek and definately has more right to complain than me. She showed an ass-load of new PVs and I'm now hooked on Crystal Kay and Miyavi's new songs! You heard that right - something not JE! *Akira!shock* The world may be ending. :P
Sidenote about Tackey & Tsubasa: All Tsubasa fans need to send a get well card to Tsubasa because he broke his left foot! *cries* You can find the details and address to send the cards here. We love you, Imai-san!! ♥♥♥
I should probably sleep, but I have a huge urge to read fanfiction... >.< Must resist!
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 08:48 am (UTC)... Miyavi? *dies of shock* how can you?!
Let me know where to send your stuff if you have your adress, ok? ♥♥♥
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 10:22 am (UTC)0_0! I know! It doesn't make sense... I really like the sound of "Senor, Senora, Senorita" and the music video is aesthetically pleasing, but Miyavi himself still freaks me out. Especially since he has on a fake mustache in the PV. -_-;; Damn him and his new catchy song!
Okay! ^.^ *snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 01:30 pm (UTC)Colleges have yearbooks? (Colleges have activities? ^_~) Maybe I should crawl out of my cave sometime..
YOU CANNOT RESIST FANFICTION--IT'S HARDER TO RESIST THAN MANGO, AND YOU CANNOT RESIST THE MANGO EITHER!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 10:33 pm (UTC)I'm starting to wish they didn't. >Þ
Haha! "My name is Mango - you cannot touch!" XD
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 06:36 pm (UTC)I need to update, too. I've been so busy! My stupid Interpretation of literature teacher assigned us to finish a 400 page book in 6 days... And I have three other literature classes with assignments to finish. *sighs*
Do what you can to make that part go away. School should be that miserable, even though the past few years mine has been exactly that way. >.>
I, uh... I don't think I made a mistake. I don't think that at all. I just wish here was closer to there. I get the feeling I've stepped out of the stream and won't be able to get back in when the time comes. But I'm less worried than I have been about almost anything.
It is going to snow soon. *sighs* I'm kind of apprehensive to look up the exact milage between my dorm and my classes. It is over a mile to the far one, I think. Nothing to complain about, but I guess you all believe me when I say it is a big campus now...
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 10:30 pm (UTC)Well, that's true, but I don't think they want me writing crappy stories.
Ah - that actually makes me feel better. I do wish that you were closer, but I want you to succeed in what you set out to do as well. No worries. ^.^ I know you'll be able to jump back in! *huggles*
It's raining here and they say it might turn to snow. Blah. Your capmus is reeeeeally huge. This is now know. *_*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 07:32 am (UTC)Wait... What? I hope it all works out when I come back. ._.
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Date: 2006-02-08 11:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 05:17 pm (UTC)PS - I called home to ask about tuition/financial aid stuff and learned my mother has been using four letter words on the cat. And, that when you visited you carried Rascal around the entire time you were there. I giggled, and am jealous.
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Date: 2006-02-10 01:37 am (UTC)Yes, I loved on the kitty till he didn't want to be loved on anymore. He was so fluffy I couldn't resist!
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Date: 2006-02-10 07:43 am (UTC)*super jealous*
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Date: 2006-02-15 09:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 11:58 am (UTC)I, personally, want to see the Cosplay, Jrock & Jpop panel, and the ParaPara workshop. I've asked Cait if she would be my co-panelist, but I'm not 100 percent sure which events she wants to see.
PS - I still haven't registered yet. Should I do that now or wait for Brian to get back to me??
no subject
Date: 2006-02-15 12:13 pm (UTC)Go ahead and register, unless there's a reason why you think you should wait.
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Date: 2006-02-17 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-18 02:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-21 10:06 pm (UTC)